How To Enjoy A Company Holiday Party Without Losing Your Job

When it comes to celebrating, there are two basic strokes. Some prefer not to plan, opting to let it all hang out whatever the cost.



Then there are those of us who want to balance the social aspects of our lives with the rest of it. You know things like showing up to work the next day without a hangover.

If you’re reading this blog, you fall into the second category. Congratulations.

Personal feelings aside, you want your work comrades to see you as normal. You can’t have them wondering if you bury bodies in the backyard of your home.

You also don’t want them to see you as the person who can’t let go of the college years. There’s a way to keep a normal social profile and still cut loose.

You just need a little planning up front.

Eat Before Going



Don’t be a dumb. If you go to the company with an empty stomach, that’ll backfire. The first thing you will do is get drunk. Then you will fill up on jalapeno poppers, guaranteeing a nasty day of bathroom visits starting the next morning.

You don’t have to pig out. In fact, don’t do that. You’ll want to eat socially, so don’t fill up, but get pretty close. Avoid filling up on salty food. That will make you more apt to drink faster, risking the intoxication thing.

Eat something comforting that you can digest without too many problems. This isn’t the time to try milk-soaked soft-shelled crab in octopus ink. How about a nice sandwich or bowl of pasta?

Do not confuse this with pre-partying. Drinking before the party is not recommended.

Employ The One-for-one Rule



Hopefully, you don’t enjoy getting hammered. This will be challenging otherwise.

It’s normal to dip deep into the nog during December, but this is a company party. The people in charge may have said that they want you to “enjoy yourselves,” but they don’t mean let it all go. They mean enjoy yourself in a very business manor.

You’re gonna accomplish this by cutting your intake in half, but you can still keep a drink in your hands at all times. As you order each drink, as the server or bartender to bring you a glass of water with that drink. Don’t order another drink until you finish your water.

This trick works like a champ. It will slow you down, force you to use the bathroom frequently, plus make tomorrow easier.

Arrive Late, Leave Early

(source: aspirehiring.c)

(source: aspirehiring.c)

This is the approach otherwise known as, leave ‘em wanting more.

Never be professionally late. When it comes to making meetings or your work shift on time, always be early. If you’re on time in that context, you’re late.

However, for the company holiday party, be as late as you can without making a scene. In most situations, people will already be well into their cups. They’ll be so happy when you arrive they won’t care.

Make sure you shake hands with all the right people. Do this after you have one drink. Then find a spot to watch the shenanigans unfold.

If you’ve done your prep work, you’ve arrived with food in your belly, not booze. You’re enjoying your one-for-one, watching that goofball from marketing embarrass himself.

Then, right around the time your friend tells you the same story for the third time, walk out the door. It’s called a French exit.

If you try to say goodbye to everyone, they will inevitably rope you into a round of shots. Then it’s all over.



Make sure to take plenty of pictures. There are the professional selfies you take with important people to post on your social media profiles. They have accounts too. They’ll find your pics flattering.

Also, get plenty of the guy from marketing falling on his face. Not so you can get him in trouble, but so you can pat yourself on the back in the morning. Keep ‘em so you can judge the heck out of that guy.

You’re so much better at this than anyone else.