In the lives of even the most successful people in the world, there comes a point where they stand in front of the mirror, asking, am I the problem?

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Maybe you can’t even put your finger on what is wrong, but you know there is something. You loathe going to work, not for the usual reasons of job rigor.

It’s deeper, darker than that. You get a sick to your stomach feeling every time you get ready. Perhaps you’re even suffering the loss of sleep.

The best idea you can come up with is to quit. Don’t; not yet.

Before you throw in the towel, make sure you’ve looked under every stone. There may be an opportunity to discover something about yourself you may miss if you cut and run before you check it out.

Wait

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Unless you’re in a situation that is unhealthy, take your time. There will always be time to quit, but you may never get this chance again to learn something valuable.

There is something happening at work that you have to figure out, something making you sick. Running just means you will revisit this somewhere else in the future.

It may not even be something you’re doing, but you own part of it. You have to. Owning what you can puts the balance of power back in your hands. If it’s always them, then you are holding no cards. You are a victim. Don’t do that to yourself. Set a timeline, like 30-90 days. If you can’t figure it out before then, let go, but may be back in this place again soon.

If it’s always them, then you are holding no cards. You are a victim. Don’t do that to yourself. Set a timeline, like 30-90 days. If you can’t figure it out before then, let go, but may be back in this place again soon.

Set a timeline, like 30-90 days. If you can’t figure it out before then, let go, but may be back in this place again soon.

Observe

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The best thing you can do during that 30-90 days is to observe.

We tend to get swept up in the anxiety of our days, regretting things from the day before, worried about future events. These are both uncontrollable distractions from the present moment.

Try to ground yourself in the moment. Meditation helps.

Take in every aspect of your environment. If you have to, make notes, even if it’s after your work day. See if you can do anything to make the situation better.

As one example, if you notice conversations at work constantly dovetail into complaining, see if you can’t redirect those conversations. If you’re doing everything you can to refocus, but failing, then you know what’s up.

It’s time to move on.

Ask

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If your relationship with your supervisor is good, see if you can’t enlist some help.

The conversation sounds like, I’m having a tough time with stress during my workday. Can you help me figure out my role in it?

This could be a tough one. They may give you feedback that hurts to hear. Tough truths beat not knowing every time. Your supervisor may have no idea what you’re talking about but may be able to help you observe.

Your supervisor may have no idea what you’re talking about but she may be able to help you observe.

Plan

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You may discover that you have a big hand in your own stress. This is usually the case. It makes you human.

Maybe you don’t realize how unfriendly you can seem or how much your negativity drags down the moral of the team. Maybe you complain or lie, but don’t even realize it.

You need a plan. Your supervisor may be able to provide behavioral coaching or books you can read to redirect your paradigm.

This is an ideal outcome, as you not only have a new perspective on your situation, you have the opportunity to course correct. In this scenario, you don’t have to quit.

Cut

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This is your worst case scenario. You’ve tried everything. It’s time to throw in the towel. You’re gonna do this respectfully, no matter how much you think they deserve a kick in the pants.

Get your hands on some decent paper. Write a professional letter of resignation. Put it in an envelope, then ask your supervisor when would be a good time to meet.

With no pretense, you will inform your supervisor that you’ve made your best effort to resolve your issues but are unable to find an amicable solution.

Be ready. They may let you go right there. That happens sometimes. It’s okay. Still, hand over your envelope.

Thank your supervisor for any help and the opportunity. Make sure you are clear on company termination policy, like do they need to escort you out? Can you empty your desk?

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The more effort you put into this before the end, if it comes to that, the better you leave this relationship.

You can’t control other people. If your supervisor is a jerk, then there is nothing you can do about it.

Making a scene, lowering your standards to meet sloppy professionalism only makes it harder for you to perceive yourself as a consummate professional.

Keep your standards high. If you must walk, do it with your eyes forward.